Moments of Note #1 💌

Crack open the Fanta Limón and get comfy.

There’s a potent hint of summer wafting around Barcelona this week. Granted, we’re spoilt with blue skies even in the coldest of months, but after some much needed rain the scent of change is well and truly in the air. The beach is suddenly busy, the tourists are bouncing around in full force, shirts off, while the residents are just about removing their jackets. I love Spring so much. SO much, and I don’t care if that’s me being fluent in cliché for the 194906th time. It’s just so full of hope, and light. In general that’s where I like to dwell, so when everyone else is on board too, it’s dizzyingly potent.

So, in an attempt to stay as fully present as possible, I’ve been trying to absorb this shift in the air alongside my own shift in being able to do (a bit) less; inhaling the sense of possibility that has arrived alongside my own relief. Getting out and about across the city now that there’s some space in my workday to do so. Looking up. Locking eyes. Working in cafés instead of keeping myself locked away at home, tapping at the keyboard with a gentler cadence, with pauses to ponder. This literal breathing space has put me back in touch with not only the energetic, incredible city on my doorstep but the big wide world beyond it; of the life beyond my own walls and the connections waiting to be made - whether that’s just a fleeting interaction with a barista, or a load of new faces in my Spanish class.

Building a new life in a new city in your 30s takes time, and I’m happy to have more time to nurture my fledging connections, while also rejuvenating connections with people further away, in a less all-or-nothing kind of way. There is light, both tangible and intangible, as pressure lifts from my shoulders and tightness releases in my chest. I’m looking towards it. I’m standing in it. I’m grateful to be in a position to feel it.

So in the spirit of this clearing out of the gunk, of this shifting of the seasons, and also in the spirit of just being where you are and simply taking a breath… this week’s note is a little bit different. This newsletter is one big experiment in curiosity, and hot damn do I believe in following curiosity when you can amid the chaos and concern of your everyday. Because it’s through our curiosities that we discover what we care about, and what we can leave for somebody else to care about. It’s through curiosity, through stopping to ask myself why, that I have been able to step onto a different path.

So here are a few little moments of curiosity that I’ve taken the time to notice this week. I hope this little list of everything and nothingness encourages you to contemplate some of your own moments of fleeting, magical, everything and nothingness too. It’s reminded me that we really are here, we really are alive, and we really are connected.

1. Whose turn is it to deal?

Call me a complete nerd, but since I’ve moved away, I’ve really missed games nights. I think you’re either a games person or you’re not, but to me being sat around a table in a flurry of chatter and snacks with the windows open, cards being thrown about, a good playlist doing its thing… it just screams the ease, silliness and familiarity of lingering Sundays with friends. Most vividly in late Spring, natch.

Card games got me and my bubble through multiple lockdowns, and there’s some exceptional travel memories laced in there too (playing by candlelight on a beach on a remote island in the Philippines, was it all a dream?). So to have Phase 10 AND Monopoly Deal reinstated into my life by separate people in the same week? Do not pass GO, do not collect £200. I am SPENT.

2. Just bloody WALKING.

Florals? For Spring? Groundbreaking.

Dragging yourself away from the desk sometimes feels like a ridiculous herculean effort, especially if you’re in the weeds of a task. But every time I give myself a 10 minute break to walk, I’m always happy that I did. Level 2: not using that 10 minutes to send messages, make appointments, or even to listen to music. Just walking and tuning in to what my surroundings have to say has helped me make sure that the screen-break really is a break. Unsurprisingly, this city really does have a lot to say. And I love it.

3. Fiction only before bed

I am often guilty of a doom scroll before bed, and I really notice the difference in my sleep - it’s full of nonsense, noise and the wrong type of light. I switched to books a while ago, but my natural inclination towards something that’s going to expand my brain just sets it whirring in all sorts of fun tangents. 15 minutes with a fiction book, diving into a life that has got absolutely nothing to do with mine, seems to be doing the trick. I understand this is also in no way groundbreaking, but sometimes we need to be reminded that there are simple solutions. So here’s a little reminder if you’re having one too many TikTok fever dreams of late.

4. An accidental podcast stumble

I am an absolute gobbler of self-development podcasts. Things that will make me mentally stronger, give me a kick up the bum, sort out my routines and (bad) habits, encourage me to think differently about the world… basically I need all the help I can get, so I’m there. Although I do encourage some level of discernment because Christ there’s a lot of pseudo-crap in the ether isn’t there? Slightly beside the point perhaps… which is that I was listening to Tara Humphrey’s The Business of Healthcare podcast as part of my research for her upcoming episode on my own podcast, and I found this episode about doing a life audit to support your home-life AND career very practical, and therefore rather helpful. 

5. Flowers, just because

I have posted before about my love of buying myself flowers. If you don’t want to get deep about it, what’s not to love about having something natural and gorgeous in your eye-line at the desk? But I also think it’s a quietly powerful act to declare yourself worth the purchase, just because, without waiting for someone else to do it for you. Anywho, the other day I extended this to one of my friends and showed up to meet her for a drink with a bunch of flowers, just because. They weren’t anything extravagant, but delivering that joy for no reason whatsoever made it even more joyful. We all deserve flowers!

6. Masquerading play as upskilling

I’ve repeatedly run into a weird block around investing in training or software for myself a few times over the years. I think part of it is unlearning certain attitudes towards money, being employed vs freelance, yadda yadda. Who am I to declare that I’m worth investing in myself in this way when there’s no teacher or employer present? Funny that I’ll think nothing of spending money on things that are less beneficial to my life goals... another glass of wine, you say?

I got over the software part pretty quickly as a freelance because I literally can’t do my job without, for example, a podcast hosting platform or video editing software. But the training has been a new thing. I finally invested in a couple of Skillshare courses to keep my professional skills sharp. Admittedly I found a discount code first, but old habits die hard and who doesn’t love a bargain?

But I’ve also spent good money lately on an acting class, to pick up a passion that I once had, and one that (I’m told) I actually have some aptitude for. Through it I’ve met new people and I’ve developed a skill; snippets of which I’ve been able to transfer when it comes to giving professional speeches. But beyond that, it’s just bloody fun. I’m diving into scripts, into human behaviour, and I’m off my phone 100% of the time I’m in class. So, go find something you’re curious about, and get yourself a skill. Or (gasp) just go and play. That’s more than ok. A single hour of salsa is medicine, btw.

7. London Marathon Day

I absolutely adore the day of the London Marathon. The whole city comes alive in the most magical way; and it really amplifies that we’re all, somehow, connected.

*weeps*

Connected by love, by resilience, by the challenges we have to overcome to keep going when we’re faced with loss or illness, by an excuse to just get out on the streets and be ecstatic that there’s no rain on a Sunday in April. It’s a healthy dose of emotion and perspective, mixed with a riot of colour, noise and human potential. ERGH I just love it. Even from afar I could sense the energy, to the point that I entered the ballot for next year in a ridiculous moment of utter delulu. That my friends, is strong stuff. 

8. Sugar free Fanta Limón

Yes I know it’s full of shit chemicals but as a person with type 1 diabetes I don’t get to drink fruit juice unless it’s lukewarm from a child’s juicebox carton because I’m trying to remedy a low blood glucose aka save my own life. It’s a trip, let me tell you. So a crisp, cool can of Fanta Limón once in a blue, sunny aftermoon?

Guilty. Guilty, and quenched.